I’ve written bios on myself once or twice in my life and I’ve always dreaded it.
There’s something in me that doesn’t want to blow my own horn too loudly.
I think it has something to do with some insecurity I have which tells me that my story couldn’t or wouldn’t be compelling to others.
I’m also concerned that writing about oneself indicates a level of ego that I’m not comfortable with.
I could tell you about the different places I grew up, but in the end, that’s fairly inane.
I’ve decided instead to use this space to share my spiritual autobiography with you.
To tell you about the way God has reached out to me in my life in order to teach me about Himself, myself, what He’s trying to do in my life and why.
I was saved when I was 13 years old.
If I’m honest, the biggest (not the only, just the biggest) motivator in my conversion was fear.
At that age all I knew about eschatology was that Jesus was going to come back.
When He did, there were going to be two groups of people:
those who were saved and going to heaven, and those who were not.
I knew which group I was in and I knew which group most of my family was in and I couldn’t bear the thought of being left behind.
To add to my concern was the absolute conviction that Jesus would be coming back within the next few weeks and time was short.
So I asked Jesus to save me and was baptized.
I remember feeling different after that, but most of what I felt was relief.
Jesus could come back now, I was in the club.
As I went through Jr. High and High school, it’s safe to say that I didn’t grow much in my faith.
I went to church and attended youth group but a bad combination was in force.
I didn’t understand my responsibility in seeking after God, and the church we went to wasn’t much on discipleship or ministry.
What with my immaturity and the deadness of the church, not much fruit was born in my life.
When I went away to college, the predicable thing happened.
I quit going to church.
It was easy not to go.
I went about my business and by the time I was 24 I had positioned myself pretty well.
I was single, had a good job with a good future.
I was on the launching pad to the American Dream.
However, there was a problem.
I was lonely.
I had friends at work, but they were work relationships.
I wanted my life to be about more than just work and so I began to think about how to make changes.
I believe God used that loneliness to call me back to Him.
I began to attend church again.
The second time around was completely different from the first.
God began to reveal Himself to me in the faith I observed in those around me.
I had the privilege of being in a discipleship relationship with a real man of God.
This man lives the abundant life.
I could see it in his attitude, his perspective, his priorities, his joy.
It made quite an impression on me and I grew a lot.
Over the next 10 years a lot of things happened.
I got married to Chris (high school sweetheart – long story), had two boys (Ryan and Trent), and climbed a few rungs on the corporate ladder.
More importantly, God built a foundation in my life that began to inform the way I lived.
As I said, I had positioned myself for success from the world’s perspective.
But there were problems.
My work kept me away from home for long hours at odd times of the day.
By the time our oldest got to 1st grade, there were weeks in which he and I saw each other only on the weekends.
The Lord began to convict of my responsibility to my family.
After a lot of praying we decided that we needed to make a change.
For a lot of reasons, that meant changing jobs.
At the same time, we were offered an opportunity to join my parents (stepdad and mom) in their business.
It had a lot of promise: lifestyle change, professional challenge, and lots of potential.
We prayed and had peace so I left my job and we moved across the country.
I’ll spare you all the gory details, but suffice it to say that my stepfather and I were not meant to be in business together.
Since it is his business, you can surmise where that left me.
I was in a very interesting position and I needed to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life.
Apart from the many issues of anger, bitterness, sense of betrayal, how to make a living, etc., there was bit of a feeling of being liberated.
Anything was possible.
The rest of my life was unwritten.
There were no commitments, obligations, plans, or agendas.
There was nothing to leave, only things to go to.
I did a lot of talking with the Lord during that time.
He had allowed me to go through some very difficult things.
I learned a lot about how He expects us to respond in trials and about forgiveness.
I had a couple of opportunities to work at different things but didn’t feel as if they were the place the Lord wanted me to be.
Finally I got so frustrated with my solutions to the problem, that I told the Lord that I wouldn’t do anything or go anywhere unless He told me to do it.
Within a very short time, God led me to Adventures In Missions.
Amazingly, they had a need for someone with my background and skill set.
After a lot of prayer and seeking God’s wisdom, we came on staff.
It’s been 5 years since I left my safe, corporate job in obedience to God.
I’ve not written here much about the details of the last 5 years.
The fact is that the last 5 years has been the period of my life during which my walk with God has been the deepest.
It’s the time in which I’ve learned more about God, more about myself, and more about why God is working to change me.
There’s a lot to talk about and my intent is to include you in that journey via this blog.
I can say this.
God is good and he’s so interested in us.
He’ll do whatever it takes to get us and our attention.
He got my attention in a serious way about 5 years ago and it’s been nothing but a blessing.
It’s not always easy.
I’ve experienced my greatest pain and crises as well as my deepest joy and blessing in the last 5 years.
Without trying to be egocentric, I hope to use this blog
to share the things God is teaching me as well as to give you updates on the ministry He has us involved in.
I hope not to be annoying or intrusive in the process, but we are called to live in community.
There are a lot of aspects to that.
One of them is sharing with each other how God is moving, teaching, forming.
I pray you’re blessed by what you read.
Steve
